So you want to be a.....

Inspiration for this Post

I recently watched a movie called Serpico, starring Al Pacino and directed by Sidney Lumet. It had a very interesting scene where Al Pacino's character, called Serpico meets, a bunch of people in a party. The commonality between all the people he meets is that they are doing something else and they want to be something else.

Al Pacino's character says "How come all your friends are on their way to being somebody else?

I'll let you ponder and find a meaning for yourself in these lines (I do recommend the movie if you're a fan of Al Pacino or Sidney Lumet). 

However my post isn't about the movie or trying to be somebody else. 

It is about the confusion I was in for a long time when I believed - "I wanted to be a .....". I can probably fill in tens (if not hundreds) of words in there. Each and everyone of us can fill words that describe our goals, wishes, desires or simply a random thought that came into our minds.

I want to be a writer.

I want to be a poet.

I want to be an owner of my own organic restaurant.

I want to be a good husband.

I want to be a kind human being.

I want to love nature.

And many, many more.

It was interesting to observe my change from "I want to be..." to "I am...". What made the change possible? Well, couple of facts that I learned from a number of people I've met so far in my life.

#1 Dreamer don't want to be....he or she already is

It was a simple fact that when I think "I want to be" it immediately disassociates myself from my goal and attaches certain end results which may or may not be appropriate at this early stage.

Let's take an example. I want to be a writer. When I say that I have already put a wall between me and writing - the wall of - I'm not a writer right now. I've to believe in my abilities to write and learn about writing. It is like a relationship, I've to spend more time with it for it to flourish and break new grounds.

#2 I would be doing it, period.

Secondly I've attached goals like publication in a journal, fame, money and probably some other external end results to this personal goal. Which dilutes the intention and selflessness in pursuing my goal. At least in the early stages it is not a worth it to think of an endgame.

There are great examples of people who went their whole life unrecognized by the outside world. Yet they kept on doing what they were doing because they loved the process not the end result. If I want to do something I should do it for the heck of it, not for an end result. If something that helps me in some other way than mental achievements, well that great! If not, that's great too!

Conclusion: Internal Revolution

Any change begins with an internal revolution and that internal revolution should be unalloyed with any prejudices, selfish goals or anything that makes you think of anything other than the goal itself. Is this tough? Of course it is! I've to raise it like I would raise my own child, without a selfish goal in mind but at the same time doing the best for the child.

As a human I'm flawed. That's the nature of this species. But the other inherent nature of this species is learning and importantly learning from mistakes. So all your goals require sincere beginning and then a continuously improving journey. Internal revolution needs a pure fire and unabated love & selflessness.

Here is an excerpt from Dustin Hoffman's interview where he says he will be acting even if it mean doing it in community theaters or on the silver screen.