Quarter-life Crisis
The years from twenty five to twenty nine are a weird experience; at least that’s how they are turning out for me. The word weird here is a mixture of humour as well as distress. These are the years when you’re well past your adolescent days. You’ve moved through the puberty into the maturity carrying the burden of college degrees. You even got your first job and were very content making that monthly loan installment towards the education loan. Your college buddies who looked doomed seem to be doing fine. Your friends, like you, seem to be doomed for an unknown amount of time to follow. You’re pretty sure you will lead the pack of your doomed friends. Maybe you’ve a relationship with a girl or a guy who has managed to stick with you through these waves of changes. Or you’re still not sure whether it is worth to be in a relationship. For others this part was all but happiness. However your parents and mentors have showered you with enough wisdom about the opportunities and misfortunes that tend to follow any worldly creature. Even you have managed to etch an assortment of lessons in your mind through your experiences with people and places. Your job pays you enough to maintain a good lifestyle and you even have the liberty to make some financial blunders. Things are not as bad as they seem to be. You’re progressing slowly but surely. You have enough measures to assess the journey of life.
But suddenly you’re hit by a quarter-life crisis. The crisis of realizing what you don’t want but not sure what you want. The inertia of not making decisions has slowed you down to almost a standstill. You want to move but far too many doubts are hovering over you. You’re too far to go back and change a few things. At the same time the future is still distant and too vague to have the comfort of surety. The gut feeling seems to have died and it is far too noisy to hear your own inner voice. Job, friends, romance, money and other things are topics you would rather not talk about. However everybody else seems to be interested in talking about these. You want to speak out but are afraid nobody would understand you. Your parents and mentors are too secure to understand your insecurity. Your peers are fighting their own battles and would prefer a good time rather than a scary insight. Your search for your philosophy of life seems to be taking you nowhere. The moments of security and comfort you draw from others’ success stories are shredded by the haunting truths of the present. The feeling of anything is possible still exists but is restricted by the blandness of the present. Welcome to the quarter-life crisis! I didn’t knew a quarter-life crisis existed; until when it suddenly hit me. I was taken aback by this brute force that is seemingly impossible to conquer. Is it too late to change things or do I really need to change?
Is there a way through this mess? Most of us do hope so. But if there is a way I don’t know of it; at least right now. Do you?
An essay by.
Pushkar Bajpai
An essay by.
Pushkar Bajpai
My dear Pushkar,
ReplyDeleteI want to have a clarity over a few points, what you have mentioned. Do you mean that you are looking for a purpose? Or is it the crisis evolved out of run-of-the-mill life?
As you say " Job, friends, romance, money and other things are topics you would rather not talk about".
I should be careful here as purpose essentially means the outcome. It is different from knowing what you don't want and not knowing what you want. Because for me "want" is a journey rather than the end result. For example: I "want" to write. Why? Because I love when I can create a piece of writing through some words. It's fulfilling. While purpose is more about expectations you want to achieve from doing something. The purpose of writing could be to make money.
ReplyDeleteCrisis is a result of losing the self-identity; losing my inner voice in the noise of world. Unable to move as you don't know what your steps should be! That's my take on it. Thanks for reading.